OSLO: celery cube detected in alleged Kung Pao specimenTORONTO: broccoli attempted unauthorized entrySINGAPORE: peanuts present, tribunal cautiously optimisticBERLIN: sauce viscosity exceeds Article 7 limitsLOS ANGELES: cashew substitution classified as culinary forgeryCHENGDU: wok hei levels stable, no emergency action requiredOSLO: celery cube detected in alleged Kung Pao specimenTORONTO: broccoli attempted unauthorized entrySINGAPORE: peanuts present, tribunal cautiously optimisticBERLIN: sauce viscosity exceeds Article 7 limitsLOS ANGELES: cashew substitution classified as culinary forgeryCHENGDU: wok hei levels stable, no emergency action required

Est. by emergency consensus

World Kung Pao Organization

The global authority for orthodox Kung Pao Chicken, peanut sovereignty, dried chili jurisdiction, and the prevention of broccoli-based incidents.

Verified Reference Plate

Orthodoxy Sample A-1915

The Tribunal

Judgement Tool

Submit Evidence

Drag a photo of the accused dish. The Secretariat will scan for unauthorized vegetables, sauce drift, and peanut irregularities.

Awaiting Evidence

No dish escapes review

The Scripture

Five Articles of Faith

Chicken Dice

Uniform cubes. No strips, no nuggets, no vibes-based geometry.

Peanuts

Roasted, present, and constitutionally protected.

Dried Chili

Fragrant heat, not performative violence.

Lychee Profile

Sweet, sour, salty, spicy: a diplomatic treaty in sauce form.

Wok Hei

The invisible signature. If absent, the court becomes concerned.

Wall of Shame

Global Crime Scenes

Pineapple Kung Pao, Case #WKPO-404Filed

Steamed Chicken With Moral AmbiguityFiled

Kung Pao Pasta, extradition pendingFiled

Cashew Coup Attempt, neutralizedFiled